Towel in Trousers

They'll spare you if you loot, 
Molest a woman, they will scoot, 
But if you scowl
Or wear a towel
You're arrested, 'cos you're a brute.

Valentine's Day Blues

He sobbed and then confessed, 
He declared you were the best, 
He has a wife,
Has girl friends rife, 
Lady, dump this moronic pest.

Valentine's Day's a waste of time
The love songs are pantomime
Marketers use tricks 
To bankrupt you quick
And leave you without a dime.

He'll swear undying love
Compare you to stars above
On Valentine's Day
You'll receive a bouquet
Then swiftly give you the shove.

Bleeding Heart Liberals

Bleeding heart liberals will quail
Save terrorists and rapists they wail, 
For barborous crimes
Libs will chime
"Why weren't they granted bail."

What's the Big Deal?

From the poor the crooks began to steal, 
Then the victims decided to squeal, 
"It's a paltry sum
A few lakhs ain't fun,"
Asked a leader, "What's the big deal?"

Motamaal Baby

As a member of the elite flock,
You augment your assets and stock,
Silver spoons at birth
Won't add to net worth
So you're rewarded free coal blocks. 

The word "Motamaal" popularized by BJP leader Sushma Swaraj, signifies 'fat sums' or 'massive profits.' 

"Not Waving but Drowning"

 

The scammers who loot are clowning,

The dolts who cheat, we're crowning, 

When the bandits cheered, 

The serfs all jeered 

Because we're not waving, we're drowning. 

Apologies to Stevie Smith who wrote the poem "Not Waving but Drowning." Happy Independence Day!

Darkness at Noon

When millions endured power cuts

A UPA spokesman did strut

"A crisis it is not,"

Said he, with a swat, 

Folks, better keep your mouths shut.

Flushed with Funds

On board the profligacy train

Montek planned in his brilliant brain

*35 lakhs for 2 loos

Caused quite a ballyhoo

Our taxes just went down the drain. 


*1 lakh = Rs 100,000

Smelling of Roses

A. Raja was granted bail

Like a hero he stepped out of jail;

His supporters elated, 

Their joy unabated 

More scams for him to inhale?

'Reel' Trouble

You and your lover got laid,
A film your rendezvous betrayed,
You're both so hot
You're caught, so what
You were discussing tariffs and trade.

Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics

 

The new IIP* numbers were out, 

Wild data was bruited about, 

Economists are tense 

Figures don't make sense 

Who's compiled them? Statistical louts?

IIP: Index of Industrial Production

Voodoo Planning

Earn less than rupees twenty eight,

You're poor, states a policy potentate

If you earn twenty nine,

Order Burgundy wine

Says the wizard in economics debates.

U-turn

Cotton exports would face a ban,

Announced the government with elan,

Then the ban was revoked,

In one swift stroke,

Are U-turns a new game plan?

Red and Blue

Paint Kolkata blue, Mamata said, 

Residents' hearts were filled with dread,

They revolted and complained

She hollered with disdain

"Because the Communists painted the town red."

Valentine's Prey

On V-Day he will give you a ring
With rose bouquets he will sing, 
You'll soon discover
He's a two-timing lover
You're just one in a series of flings.