Jairam Ramesh's hurricane proof hairdo

When deriding his critics with disdain,

Jairam Ramesh flaunts his coiffured mane,

Thrice daily he blow dries, 

Using scarce power supplies, 

Environment Minister, shouldn't you refrain?

Euro's current worth

Greece has been on a debt binge,

The euro's got hammered and singed;

The German mark spurred the euro's birth,

Is the drachma euro's current worth? 

Ask investors extremely unhinged.

Braying for retrograde causes

Earlier this year, when Minister of Environment Jairam Ramesh supported the introduction of genetically modified BT Brinjal or aubergine, he was opposed by farmers' and environmental groups. During his recent visit to China, he accused the Indian government of being alarmist and paranoid about Chinese investments in India. 

Naveen Jindal, a businessman and MP, meanwhile is playing footsie with the khap panchayats, self-styled community representatives who dispense medieval justice in the villages of Haryana. 

These two worthies have hidden agendas and I have a limerick: 

  

Jairam Ramesh is seduced by Chinese swindles,

Khap groups have wooed Naveen Jindal:

Both loudly brayed,

For causes retrograde,

Let's force feed them toxic BT Brinjal.

Rackets and racketeers

Sporting heads have never wielded a racket,

Yet they've all stashed massive pay packets:

Racketeers to a man,

Mobsters of a clan,

They belong to top income tax brackets.

Fight terror with sixth sense

Delhi lives constantly under the threat of imminent terror attacks, so the Lieutenant Governor Tejendra Khanna advised the edgy, nervous residents of the capital to develop vigilance as a collective sixth sense. Translation: we the serfs are left to fend for ourselves.


Here's my riposte in verse to the Governor:

Be vigilant with your sixth sense,
Says Delhi's Governor who's quite dense,
Police will protect the elite
Not lumpen masses in the street,
We commoners now live in perennial suspense.

Big Brother learns to tap dance

Outlook magazine reported that the Indian intelligence services are keeping tabs on all kinds of electronic communication: landline calls, cellphone conversations, sms exchanges and chat. 

Big Brother, you've earned yourself a limerick:

It seems our phone lines are tapped

To plug the information gap,

Thousands are employed,

Ministers are overjoyed

Listening to unadulterated crap.

On your phone when you hear strange clicks,

Try some shrewd and canny tricks,

Chant a melodic Italian aria

Praise the Prince and Mama Sonia,

Who knows, you'll be chosen the Prince's sidekick.

Tharoor the demigod

Like a demigod, Tharoor descended from the west,

He superciliously declared he was the best,

He wanted to gain

Loot the IPL gravy train

He's a sleazebag no different from the rest.

The IPL stinks

The IPL stinks of corruption,

Drugs, murder and seduction;

The tournament is a gigantic con

To fill the coffers of mafia dons,

Stay away from this scammers' production.

Tharoor's blonde and the squinting Congress

Tharoor's sleazy indiscretions caused many to mutter

When Kochi scandal erupted, even the mistress was aflutter,

For Sunanda with the blond tint

Made the Congress bosses squint

Tharoor's reckless liaisons dragged his name in the gutter. 

Tharoor's slide from grace

With zaftig women, Tharoor loves to frolic,

And suffers from foot-in-mouth disease chronic,

From cattle class tweets

To the Kochi sleaze deceit,

His slide from grace is utterly supersonic.

Shashi Tharoor's a real dandy

Tharoor's a real dandy

Sunanda's his new arm candy

The Congress party isn't pleased

The Kochi franchise stinks of sleaze

Will he resign? It's up to Sonia Gandhi

Inflation and distraction

Eighteen percent food inflation

Should grip our leaders' urgent attention,

But they don't give a damn,

Their concern a mere sham,

Because they've diverted us with cheap titillation.

Chidambaram loves to pontificate

Chidambaram loves to pontificate

Sanctimoniously on matters of state

Under his watch innocent soldiers died,

Their distraught families wept and cried

His cynical ploy to resign just grates.

Sania got engaged to a dolt

Sania got engaged to a dolt,

Fiance Shoaib soon gave her a jolt,

He already had a spouse,

Sania's fans called him a louse,

Their advice: run for cover and swiftly bolt.

On her Majesty's Statue Service

For statues Mayawati decrees a Special Monument Force

A battalion the Governor is loath to endorse

The statues and memorials

Mark her rule dictatorial

In UP, orders flow from only one source.