Railway Budget and the Communists

I don't give the Railway Budget a hoot,
I'm Mamata, all trains will run the Bengal route,
I've launched trains Duronto
Bottling plants and museums pronto

My goal, to give the Communists the boot.

                    

Advice to women jogging in Delhi

In Delhi, should you contemplate an evening jog

You'll swiftly be chased by a street dog

Lusty louts will stalk you

Muggers will dispossess you

You'll wind up in a municipal ditch dead as a log.

The Union Budget

In the run-up to the Union Budget,

News Channels will kick up a racket

The fiscal deficit will balloon

And markets will swoon

Corporate sycophants will chant, "What a nugget!"

Perambulating policemen

City policemen loiter and perambulate
Chat languidly and relax in cars to pronate
They mock citizens with gibes
Grow potbellied with bribes
No wonder terrorists slaughter innocents and proliferate.

Valentine and moonshine

Come February, stores woo you like valentine,
Ambush you to boost their bottomline,
They hustle groundnut oil
Even pitch aluminum foil
Will they beguile you with their moonshine?

A toothless tiger or a goofball

When Udhav roars, the sainiks riot and brawl,
Assault North Indians and trash a cinema hall,
Is Udhav the heir apparent
Or Cousin Raj crown prince arrant,
Udhav's a toothless tiger, or is he Sena's goofball?

GM food and brains

Eat our brinjals and eggplants toxic,
Says Monsanto to Indians altogether sceptic
The bio science may be dodgy,
The research utterly murky,
Ingest GM soya, or you'll soon be brainsick. 

Amar Singh's out in the cold

Amar Singh's out in the cold,

With a gaggle of celebrities grown old;

His party's kaput,

He shoots himself in the foot,

His manic rants multiply fivefold.

Honor the PM's manicurist

Another winner in the Padma Award List
Was the Prime Minister's own cardiologist,
The media cries foul
The Congress snaps and howls,
Next time, we'll honor the PM's manicurist.

Our policy is to honor malefactors

Tycoon Chatwal robbed banks to get favors,

Was bestowed a Padma Bhushan for his labors,

Abashed, Congress is not,

Why protest, it's a systemic rot,

Our policy is to honor malefactors.

Pesky Telecallers

If you're pestered by pesky telecallers,
Take a deep breath, sit back and holler,
First croak, I'm retired,
Then scream, you're fired
With practice, you'll get shriller and bolder.

The statues ran away

Queen Mayahottie is vain, said a wag,

Building statues of herself and her handbags,

The statues ran away

With handbags made of clay

Leaving behind a muddy trail of sandbags.

A scowling old man called Pawar

There was a scowling old man called Pawar, 

Who was also the Agriculture Commissar, 

Every word he spoke

Caused inflation to stoke,

Now sugar is beginning to taste sour.

Mayahottie became portly and haughty

In Upper Provinces reigns Mayahottie,
With a fetish for statues quite motley,
The statues expanded
Flew and crash landed
Mayahottie became portly and haughty.

Loot the exchequer

We are idle, say ministers, to the PM we'll complain,

We can't loot the exchequer, nor ride the gravy train.