Big Brother learns to tap dance

Outlook magazine reported that the Indian intelligence services are keeping tabs on all kinds of electronic communication: landline calls, cellphone conversations, sms exchanges and chat. 

Big Brother, you've earned yourself a limerick:

It seems our phone lines are tapped

To plug the information gap,

Thousands are employed,

Ministers are overjoyed

Listening to unadulterated crap.

On your phone when you hear strange clicks,

Try some shrewd and canny tricks,

Chant a melodic Italian aria

Praise the Prince and Mama Sonia,

Who knows, you'll be chosen the Prince's sidekick.

Tharoor the demigod

Like a demigod, Tharoor descended from the west,

He superciliously declared he was the best,

He wanted to gain

Loot the IPL gravy train

He's a sleazebag no different from the rest.

The IPL stinks

The IPL stinks of corruption,

Drugs, murder and seduction;

The tournament is a gigantic con

To fill the coffers of mafia dons,

Stay away from this scammers' production.

Tharoor's blonde and the squinting Congress

Tharoor's sleazy indiscretions caused many to mutter

When Kochi scandal erupted, even the mistress was aflutter,

For Sunanda with the blond tint

Made the Congress bosses squint

Tharoor's reckless liaisons dragged his name in the gutter. 

Tharoor's slide from grace

With zaftig women, Tharoor loves to frolic,

And suffers from foot-in-mouth disease chronic,

From cattle class tweets

To the Kochi sleaze deceit,

His slide from grace is utterly supersonic.

Shashi Tharoor's a real dandy

Tharoor's a real dandy

Sunanda's his new arm candy

The Congress party isn't pleased

The Kochi franchise stinks of sleaze

Will he resign? It's up to Sonia Gandhi

Inflation and distraction

Eighteen percent food inflation

Should grip our leaders' urgent attention,

But they don't give a damn,

Their concern a mere sham,

Because they've diverted us with cheap titillation.

Chidambaram loves to pontificate

Chidambaram loves to pontificate

Sanctimoniously on matters of state

Under his watch innocent soldiers died,

Their distraught families wept and cried

His cynical ploy to resign just grates.

Sania got engaged to a dolt

Sania got engaged to a dolt,

Fiance Shoaib soon gave her a jolt,

He already had a spouse,

Sania's fans called him a louse,

Their advice: run for cover and swiftly bolt.

On her Majesty's Statue Service

For statues Mayawati decrees a Special Monument Force

A battalion the Governor is loath to endorse

The statues and memorials

Mark her rule dictatorial

In UP, orders flow from only one source.

Mulayam's wobbly ladder

Mulayam Singh climbed a wobbly ladder

While descending became daft and emerged sadder

He said, men would catcall

Elected rich women, who were dolls

India's women are enraged and getting madder.

Has gold lost its allure?

Frenzied asset managers declared: buy gold

Your wealth will shortly multiply fivefold

Now experts seem so unsure

Has the yellow metal lost its allure

Should investors wait till they're 100 years old?

The grand racketeering maestro

With crores Mayawati's coffers overflow,
Her enemies are quivering scarecrows
"My garlands will now have gold coins
I've ordered the BSP forthwith to purloin
My foes are fatuous tyros, I'm the grand racketeering maestro."

Never question Queen Mayawati, be you Brahmin, Dalit or an insect.

At the Lucknow rally, honey bees skydived,

Mistook the 5 crore rupee garland for a beehive,

The paper notes made the bees confused

But Mayawati was not amused

As bees encircled overhead, nectar deprived.

Mayawati's commandos were taken aback

Their AK 47s couldn't thwart the sudden bushwhack

The bees became vicious

Madam M grew suspicious

"If it's not Rahul, then the Taliban have launched a cross border attack."

The police chief was summoned to eject

The Lucknow bees who were suspect

"Indict them under the criminal code

Imprison them in a high security abode.

Never question Queen Mayawati, be you Brahmin, Dalit or an insect."

Mayawati's gross garland

  In Lucknow Mayawati a weighty garland wore

 With 1000 rupee notes worth five crores

 Shibhu Soren did Jharkhand's coffers deplete

 Madhu Koda screwed the exchequer to cheat

 So why is the gross garland such an eyesore?

Note: 1 crore is 10 million