CWG's Scam Stars

The beggars and workers have been whisked away,

Dumped with rubble before break of day,

Delhi must be bedecked, 

With scammers unchecked,

Like Kalmadi and Dixit on display.

The Delhi Adventure Games

At the roadside kerb, you stand dismayed,

Waiting for a passing VIP cavalcade,

There's a sudden shootout,

For terrorists lurk about,

Then a falling bridge knocks you dead in the shade.

Delhi's obstacle race

Delhi's citizens run an obstacle race,

Straddling rubble mounds at a quick pace,

Mosquitoes bite their guts,

Buffaloes kick their butts

And hurl them in the flood waters' embrace.

Nuking mosquitoes

Delhi's mosquitoes are adept at evasion, 

So the army's been deployed on this occasion,

Soon the navy will be hired, 

And the air force will fire 

Missiles to nuke the pestilential invasion.

The hazards of swimming

Swimmers failed the Games dope tests, 

Selectors will now choose the very best,

Jayalalitha may be rotund,

Mayawati will leave you stunned,

And the masses will succumb to cardiac arrest.

Breaking News: Militant Mosquitoes target Games

The Games' venues the athletes will throng,

Down with dengue they'll be before long,

With sneezes and coughs,

The stadium's roof will blow off,

They'll flee singing Rahman's lousy song.

Oh darling, I love your sweat equity

With his third wife, Tharoor looks pretty, 

Celebrating his wedding in four cities, 

With Sunanda in tow,

And a seventy crore glow,

"Oh darling, I love your sweat equity."

Weapons of mass infection

After CWG's venues were ordained,
Mosquitoes multiplied in every pool and drain,
In multi-crore grounds,
Mosquitoes splash around,
Citizens be damned, let dengue fever reign.

The MPs' Money Mantra

Voter, can you spare me a crore,

Why do you create such a furor?

I'll keep you in chains, 

Why do you complain? 

I'll be back looting some more.

With apologies to "Brother, can you spare me a dime?" a 1931 song of the Great Depression.

Shoe Time

If you have smelly old shoes to spare,
Fling them at fools of Vanity Fair,
Don't hurl one but two, 
'Coz you'll have to woo,
The politico with free footwear.

The middle class bribes to fuel progress

FIIs* favor the rich noblesse, 

NGOs nurture the dispossessed,

The middle class slaves away,

Long hours everyday,

And bribes to fuel India's progress.

Inspired by Professor Vaidyanathan's column in DNA: "Why economy is growing despite jholawalas and Wall Streeters"
*Foreign Institutional Investors

India is dimming, not shining

With 8% growth rate quotes,
Our policy wonks grin and gloat,
Eighty percent slave away,
On twenty rupees a day,
India's not shining, please take note.

Scams and swindles opportune

We won't have a helium balloon,

To herald the Games in full moon,

But we are enthralled,

With the daily roll call,

Of scams and swindles opportune.

Delhi's Fort Loo

Fortress Loo at Defence Colony Market

 


The MCD decided to push through,
An eatery above a loo,
But the residents raised a stink,
It's no place to eat or drink,
Welcome to Delhi's Waterloo.

The missing ministers

Spectrum Raja's hands are in the telecom till,
Mamata decamped to West Bengal seeking thrills,
DMK's Alagiri doesn't care,
The Prime Minister despairs,
"It's not my brief, it's Sonia's will."