Dementia Redefined

Is dementia growing by degrees
Spread by CWG expertise?
Now Kalmadi the astute
Says his memory's kaput,
His next ailment is surely heart disease.

The Sleepwalk Shuffle

The PM shuffled the ministerial dudes, 

And inducted a few, all dull-hued, 

Critics gave a thumbs down, 

To the new set of clowns, 

Proclaiming "What a vacuous brood!" 

Rich Tea and Sympathy

Kalmadi, the Tihar detainee,
Drank tea and purred with glee:
"Tihar Jail's the new Ritz,
For snacks and biscuits,"
While he sunbathed for Vitamin D.

Bubblegumgate

It was Bubblegumgate last week, 

Pranab's office was bugged so he shrieked, 

Why is he surprised, 

When he should surmise 

Like a sieve all ministries leak.

The Wizard of Zero

According to Sibal's zero theories,

At Ramlila there were no injuries, 

"We're a corruption free nation, 

With no inflation, 

And my diet too has zero calories" 

The PM's in the Dark

The PM stands and pensively stares, 

He's powerless, but he's unaware, 

He hasn't a clue 

Why he's in such a stew,

"I'm a world statesman," he declares. 

Clueless in Blunderland

India's youth icon cannot differentiate, 

Cow dung, bones or ash phosphate,

Telecom losses are zero,

The Home minister's a hero, 

When he cannot terror suspects locate. 

Utterly Butterly Amul Babies

State poll results gave Jaya cheers,

But Amul Babies were in tears,

Most lost elections,

"There'll be a resurrection,"

Said Mani Shankar Aiyer, "in twenty years."

The Statues' Handbags

When farmer's protests began to drag 

Mayawati snarled angrily and bragged:

"Police with firearms 

Nab leaders in farms,

And ignore my statues with handbags."

In ISI's Bed

Osama evoked fear and dread, 

The ISI said he was lost or dead, 

In the mountains they proclaimed, 

He lived with wives and dames,

Till the US found him in ISI's bed. 

Rent-a-chappal

Suresh Kalmadi was not dismayed, 

When a chappal* was lobbed his way, 

He demanded a pair,

Of the thrower's footwear,

To rent at three thousand a day.
Chappal=slipper

CD Baat or "Seedhi Baat"

Amar Singh missed the media limelight, 

Flashing a CD, he began a fight,

Did he doctor conversations,

Or concoct allegations,

Have his mental faculties taken flight?

Cash Cows

Amma promised her farmers free cows,

To yield returns better than the Dow,

Sixty thousand bovine

Are hard to assign;

O Jayalalitha, the question is how. 

Ambulance Income Delivery System

You're moaning with pain in your bed,

The hospital you await with dread,

Sirens screech and crash,

An ambulance with cash 

Ferries you to an election booth instead.

Marxist Theory of "Relativity"

Indian politics, it's said, is a cesspool, 

Communists say they're honest as a rule,

Will Marxist dialectic 

Turn voters apoplectic 

Will the polls' Red dynasties make us drool? 

After deriding dynastic rule for years, 

Have Communists decided to change gears,
Relatives of comrades,
Into elections now wade,
Will West Bengal polls end in tears?