Towel in Trousers

They'll spare you if you loot, 
Molest a woman, they will scoot, 
But if you scowl
Or wear a towel
You're arrested, 'cos you're a brute.

Valentine's Day Blues

He sobbed and then confessed, 
He declared you were the best, 
He has a wife,
Has girl friends rife, 
Lady, dump this moronic pest.

Valentine's Day's a waste of time
The love songs are pantomime
Marketers use tricks 
To bankrupt you quick
And leave you without a dime.

He'll swear undying love
Compare you to stars above
On Valentine's Day
You'll receive a bouquet
Then swiftly give you the shove.

Bleeding Heart Liberals

Bleeding heart liberals will quail
Save terrorists and rapists they wail, 
For barborous crimes
Libs will chime
"Why weren't they granted bail."