Motamaal Baby

As a member of the elite flock,
You augment your assets and stock,
Silver spoons at birth
Won't add to net worth
So you're rewarded free coal blocks. 

The word "Motamaal" popularized by BJP leader Sushma Swaraj, signifies 'fat sums' or 'massive profits.' 

"Not Waving but Drowning"

 

The scammers who loot are clowning,

The dolts who cheat, we're crowning, 

When the bandits cheered, 

The serfs all jeered 

Because we're not waving, we're drowning. 

Apologies to Stevie Smith who wrote the poem "Not Waving but Drowning." Happy Independence Day!

Darkness at Noon

When millions endured power cuts

A UPA spokesman did strut

"A crisis it is not,"

Said he, with a swat, 

Folks, better keep your mouths shut.

Happy New Jeer

2011 was not a year of cheer

With inflation life was austere,

Prices continue to be high,

And consumers do cry, 

Nothing's changed; Happy New Year.

FDI: Frantic Didi Intervenes

FDI's been put on hold 

Indefinitely, so we're told, 

So Mamata said,

Ministers ran and fled, 

And the PM's out in the cold.

Behenji's Sandal Park

The UP memorials are eyesores, 

Designer sandals Behenji adores, 

In a private jet a pair

Arrived for her to wear

Expect statues of sandals galore. 

His Master's Voice

Anna's corrupt from head to toe,

Said Tiwari, his face all aglow,

His facile regret

Maybe a veiled threat

To abuse on nightly news shows. 

Sheila's CAGmire

Chief Minister Sheila Dikshit

Is mired in a scammer's pit

"It's Kalmadi's fault 

That the scams did vault 

And causing my hysterical fits."

Dementia Redefined

Is dementia growing by degrees
Spread by CWG expertise?
Now Kalmadi the astute
Says his memory's kaput,
His next ailment is surely heart disease.

The Wizard of Zero

According to Sibal's zero theories,

At Ramlila there were no injuries, 

"We're a corruption free nation, 

With no inflation, 

And my diet too has zero calories" 

The PM's in the Dark

The PM stands and pensively stares, 

He's powerless, but he's unaware, 

He hasn't a clue 

Why he's in such a stew,

"I'm a world statesman," he declares. 

Clueless in Blunderland

India's youth icon cannot differentiate, 

Cow dung, bones or ash phosphate,

Telecom losses are zero,

The Home minister's a hero, 

When he cannot terror suspects locate. 

Utterly Butterly Amul Babies

State poll results gave Jaya cheers,

But Amul Babies were in tears,

Most lost elections,

"There'll be a resurrection,"

Said Mani Shankar Aiyer, "in twenty years."

The Statues' Handbags

When farmer's protests began to drag 

Mayawati snarled angrily and bragged:

"Police with firearms 

Nab leaders in farms,

And ignore my statues with handbags."

Rent-a-chappal

Suresh Kalmadi was not dismayed, 

When a chappal* was lobbed his way, 

He demanded a pair,

Of the thrower's footwear,

To rent at three thousand a day.
Chappal=slipper

CD Baat or "Seedhi Baat"

Amar Singh missed the media limelight, 

Flashing a CD, he began a fight,

Did he doctor conversations,

Or concoct allegations,

Have his mental faculties taken flight?

Cash Cows

Amma promised her farmers free cows,

To yield returns better than the Dow,

Sixty thousand bovine

Are hard to assign;

O Jayalalitha, the question is how. 

Ambulance Income Delivery System

You're moaning with pain in your bed,

The hospital you await with dread,

Sirens screech and crash,

An ambulance with cash 

Ferries you to an election booth instead.

Killer Veggies

With rat poison your vegetables are tainted, 
With DDT fruits are painted,  
Ingest a toxic cocktail   
That will make you wail, 
If you haven't read this,  you've probably fainted.

A Helicopter's Wedding

The 250 crore wedding of the political elite* 

Invited fat cats to a sumptuous retreat, 

Thirty thousand guests

Attended and blessed,

A helicopter for shopping down the street.

*Congress leader Kanwar Singh Tanwar's son married the daughter of another Congressman Sukhbir Singh Jaunapuria.