Amar Singh's out in the cold

Amar Singh's out in the cold,

With a gaggle of celebrities grown old;

His party's kaput,

He shoots himself in the foot,

His manic rants multiply fivefold.

Honor the PM's manicurist

Another winner in the Padma Award List
Was the Prime Minister's own cardiologist,
The media cries foul
The Congress snaps and howls,
Next time, we'll honor the PM's manicurist.

Our policy is to honor malefactors

Tycoon Chatwal robbed banks to get favors,

Was bestowed a Padma Bhushan for his labors,

Abashed, Congress is not,

Why protest, it's a systemic rot,

Our policy is to honor malefactors.

Pesky Telecallers

If you're pestered by pesky telecallers,
Take a deep breath, sit back and holler,
First croak, I'm retired,
Then scream, you're fired
With practice, you'll get shriller and bolder.

The statues ran away

Queen Mayahottie is vain, said a wag,

Building statues of herself and her handbags,

The statues ran away

With handbags made of clay

Leaving behind a muddy trail of sandbags.

A scowling old man called Pawar

There was a scowling old man called Pawar, 

Who was also the Agriculture Commissar, 

Every word he spoke

Caused inflation to stoke,

Now sugar is beginning to taste sour.

Mayahottie became portly and haughty

In Upper Provinces reigns Mayahottie,
With a fetish for statues quite motley,
The statues expanded
Flew and crash landed
Mayahottie became portly and haughty.

Loot the exchequer

We are idle, say ministers, to the PM we'll complain,

We can't loot the exchequer, nor ride the gravy train.

The molester's thunder thighs

I flashed my Nehruvian smile, Rathore sighs,

And next when the police are nigh,

I'll scare them with my thunder thighs.

The molester cop smirks and grunts

I'll detonate a bomb in my y-fronts.

As the cops approach, I'll snort

Gaze at my boxer shorts

And scamp they will when I don my sullen wife's bikini

I'll prove to the world, I'm a uber Houdini.

Rhubarb addict

Molester Rathore contends, I'm not a convict,
I'm just a mustard and rhubarb addict.

Body scan

Never consult a doctor, trash health insurance plans,
Fly to the USA, get a free airport body scan.

Exploding underpants

I challenge the police to arrest me, Rathore rants,
I'll ward them off with my exploding underpants.

Just a depraved lout

Police chief Rathore proclaims with a baleful pout,
I'm not a molester, I'm just a depraved lout.

Villain, rascal, scallywag, fatcat

Judge, police, leader, bureaucrat,
Villain, rascal, scallywag, fatcat.

Deploy Google to track felons

Freely roam terrorists, rapists and assassins,
Police retards deploy Google to track the felons.

The mason and the millionaire

The tycoons flash Ferraris, the bourgeois flaunt designer wear,
I'd rather befriend the mason than the millionaire.

You had better eat cement

Inflation soars, potato prices climb 132 per cent,
The government advises: you had better eat cement.